Toka Te Manawa
- 1. Whakamahia he waa maau
- 2. Hangaia he raarangi
- 3. Honoa ki to punaha tautoko
- 4. Haere puhoi i roto i te aroha
- 5. Whakawhiti korero ki to hoa
- 6. Ehara to hoa i to hoa o mua
- 7. Whirinaki ki o koutou wairua
- 8. Hurihia to tirohanga
Ko te whanaungatanga te mea hohonu ki a tatou, no reira kaore he mea ohorere mena ka he te hononga, ka uaua ki te whakaraerae me tetahi hou ka tiimata te whakapono i muri o te hononga kino. Ka pakaru to whakawhirinaki i to hoa ka tuku atu ranei i a koe i runga i te whakaponokore ka uaua ki te tuu to whakapono ki tetahi hoa whaiipo. Ka taea e koe te whakawhanake i nga raru whakawhirinaki ka ora tonu mai i tetahi hononga kino.
Ko te whakaora mai i te whanaungatanga paitini te mea pai rawa atu ki a koe ake. Engari ma te waiho i to hoa paitini ka tupato koe ki te timata i tetahi hononga hou. Ahakoa kei te hiahia koe ki te aroha me te whakawhirinaki ki tetahi atu, ko te whakatutukitanga he ahua pakanga tonu.
Ko te ako ki te whakawhirinaki ano i muri i te whanaungatanga kino ka tarai ki nga hoa e rua, engari me te whakapau kaha, ka pai to hononga hou. Kaua e waiho nga mea o mua kia pa ki o hononga whanaungatanga.
Engari, me pehea e whakapakari ake ai koe i to whakawhirinaki? Anei nga huarahi e 8 hei whakapakari i te whakawhirinaki i muri i te hononga kino.
1. Whakamahia he waa maau
He uaua te wehe i te whanaungatanga kino, engari ko te whakapakari i te whakawhirinaki i muri i te hononga kino he uaua ake. Ma enei momo hoa ka kino to tuakiri, to hauora hinengaro, me to kaha ki te whakawhirinaki. He mea tupato ki te tango i tetahi wa mo koe i muri i te wehenga atu i te hononga kino i mua i te whai i tetahi atu hiahia whaiipoipo.
Ko te tango i to waa ka whai waahi koe ki te mohio ki a koe ano. Ka taea e koe te whakamahi i tenei waa ki te pouri i to whanaungatanga o mua, ki te tiimata te whakangahau, hono atu ki o hoa, te haerere, te arotahi ki to umanga, te whakamahi ranei i te waa ki te waatea.
2. Hangaia he raarangi
Inaianei kua uru koe ki tetahi hononga kino, he pai ake to mohio ki taau e hiahia ana, me te kore e aro ki te hononga hou kei te haere.
He maha te mea pai ki te hanga i te raarangi o nga kounga pai e hiahia ana ratou ki te kite i roto i tetahi hoa whaiipo me te raarangi whanonga, tikanga, me nga ahuatanga kaore koe e aro ki tetahi atu.
3. Honoa ki to punaha tautoko
Ko te pupuri i o whanaungatanga me o hoa me to whanau ka uaua pea ka pa ana koe ki tetahi hononga kino. I pau pea i te taha o to hoa o mua te nuinga o te wa, i wehe ai koe i to punaha tautoko. He noa tenei i roto i te whanaungatanga paitini na te mea ka akiaki koe kia tino whakawhirinaki koe ki to hoa o mua.
Inaianei kua watea koe i o raatau awe kino, kua tae ki te waa ki te hono ano ki o hoa aroha. Ma enei hononga e awhina ki a koe kia ora mai i to wehenga, a ka ako koe i a koe he tangata pono kei reira kia pai ake ai to whakawhirinaki ki tetahi hononga hou.
Ka noho ratau hei punaha tautoko kaha kia kite i a koe i nga whakamatautau ka pa atu ki to koiora.
4. Haere puhoi i roto i te aroha
Na te mea kua takitahi koe inaianei ehara i te kii me peke koe ki tetahi hononga hou. Mena kaore koe i te rite ki te whakaipoipo, kaua e whai i tetahi hei whakatekau. Ehara i te mea pai ki a koe, kaore ano hoki e pai ki to kuru.
Ka rite ana koe ki te noho tahi me te tangata hou, noho waahi. Ko te whakapakari i te pono i muri o te hononga kino ka mau tonu ki nga hoa rereke i mua i te kitenga o tetahi tangata ki a ia. Kia tupato ki to hoa hou ka whakamahi i to mahunga me to manawa kia taea ra ano e koe te whakawhirinaki.
5. Whakawhiti korero ki to hoa
Ahakoa kei te tiimata to hononga hou kua noho ranei koe me tetahi kua hia tau, ko te korero te mea nui ki te pupuri i te hononga hauora. Mena kei te tiimata to hononga hou, me korerorero maru koe me to hoa mo to hononga whakamutunga.
Korerohia atu ki a koe i peheatia to hoa i a koe, i pehea ai o whakaaro ki a koe, me te whakamaarama pono ki to hoa mo te ahua e awhi ai koe i etahi whanonga, i etahi rerenga korero ranei mo etahi wa.
Ko te tuwhera mo o take whakawhirinaki ka awhina i to hoa ki te mahi tahi me koe hei awhina i te whakawhirinaki me te tino tuapono mo to whanaungatanga kaua ki te mahi kino ki a koe.
6. Ehara to hoa i to hoa o mua
Mena e hiahia ana koe ki te ako ki te whakapakari i te whakawhirinaki i muri i te whanaungatanga kino, me maumahara koe ki a koe ano ehara to hoa i te hoa o mua. Kare ratau i mahi i tetahi mea kia whakapae koe i to raatau pono me o raatau aroha ki a koe.
He take tenei me whakapau ano koe ki roto i o hinengaro maha nga wa ka ako koe me pehea te whakawhirinaki ki tetahi i roto i te hononga i mua i to mahunga me to ngakau ka kite i nga mea katoa.
7. Whirinaki ki o koutou wairua
Mena kei te hiahia koe ki te ako me pehea te whakapakari i te whakawhirinaki i muri i te hononga kino me ako koe me pehea te whakawhirinaki ki a koe ano i te tuatahi. Ko nga whanaungatanga kino kaore i te tiimata to tiimata. I te tuatahi, kua tino koa koe me to hoa. Akene kua whakaaro koe he pai mo koe. Engari ka haere te wa ka paitini te hononga ma korua.
I te wa o te taumaha i roto i to hononga, i puta pea te koretake ki a koe kaore i tika tetahi mea. Kaore koe i pai ki te ahua o te atawhai me te whakaae koe kaore i pai te whanonga e whakaputaina ana e koe. Kaore pea koe i aro atu ki enei kare a roto mo te hiahia ki te whakaora i te hononga.
I tenei wa, ako ki te whakawhirinaki ki ou kare a roto, ka anga whakamua hoki ki o whakaaro. Mena kaore he mea pai, karanga atu ki to hoa. I tenei waa, tirohia nga haki whero.
I tetahi atu, mena ka kii atu to puku ki a koe he tika to whakawhirinaki ki to hoa hou, haere. Kaua e whiu i a ratau mo nga he o tana hoa o mua mena kaore he putake.
8. Hurihia to tirohanga
Mena ka kii tonu koe ki a koe ano he teka nga wahine katoa, he tinihanga ranei nga taane katoa, akene ka whakapono koe. Mena kei te hiahia koe ki te ako ki te whakawhirinaki ki tetahi hou, me whakarereke to whakaaro mo te whanaungatanga. Kaua e waiho i tetahi aporo hei pahua i te paihere katoa, ahakoa he pirau tera aporo.
Tukuna ki to hoa hou te whakaatu ki a koe ko etahi tangata ka taea te whakawhirinaki me te tino aro atu ki a koe.
Ko te whanonga i pa ki a koe i roto i te whanaungatanga paitini ka kore koe e whakapono ki tetahi hoa hou, engari ka taea e koe te ako ki te whakawhirinaki ki to hoa whai muri i te hononga ngoikore?
He ngawari te whakautu ki tenei patai. Ma te waatea i a koe ano, ma te korerorero tuwhera me tetahi hoa hou, me te manawanui nui ka taea e koe te ako ki te whakawhirinaki i muri i te hononga kino.