Toka Te Manawa
- He synergy kaore pea
- Ko nga korero e whai ake nei hei whakaatu i te arorau mo aku kitenga hou mo te aroha ki ahau ake:
- Ko te aroha ki a koe ano te rongoa mo te rangatiratanga
- Ko te ngoikoretanga o te aroha-whaiaro ko te ti'aturitanga
- SLDD te Raru / SLD te Tangata
- Ko te rongoa codependency he arohanui-aroha nui
Kaore au i mohio ko taku hiahia ki te whakaingoa i te "codependency" ka haria ahau ki New York City, i te 2 o Hune 2015, i uru atu ahau ki tetahi korerorero a te roopu me etahi mema pai o te hapori hauora hinengaro.
Ko Harville Hendrix, he tohunga mo te whanaungatanga o te ao me te tohunga haumanu hinengaro (me te kaiwhakaaetanga o aku pukapuka reo Ingarihi) he toa naaku ano me taku tino mihi mo te waimarie ki te ako mai i a ia i taua kaupapa.
I roto i nga mema o te roopu e ono, i piri tonu taku hononga ki a Tracy B. Richards, he tohunga hinengaro hinengaro no Kanata, he kaitoi, he kaiwhakahaere mo te marena. Ahakoa ko taku waahanga o te korerorero ko te codependency, narcissism, me te Maneta Maneta Syndrome, i arotahi a Tracy ki te mana whakaora o te manaakitanga-a-tangata, te whakaae ki a ia ano, me te mea nui, ko te aroha ki a koe ano.
He synergy kaore pea
I hono maatau i te wa e whakaputa ana i te mahana, te ahua o te whakamarie me te waia. I ahua marama ano a maatau "tamariki" - taku Tangata Aukume Tangata me tana "Arohanui-Ko te Whakautu" - i aroha i te kitenga tuatahi.
Ka hoki ano ahau ki te mahi, kaore i taea e au te mutu te whakaaro me te korero ki nga whakaaro o Tracy mo te aroha ki a koe ano.
Ka haere te waa, ko ona whakaaro ngawari, engari ataahua, ka maha ake nga kaainga kei roto i taku mahunga. Ehara i te mea miharo i te wa i tiimata mai ana ariā ki roto i aku mahi e rua e pa ana ki aku wero-whanau-wero me taku mahi whakaora hinengaro / whakamaimoa.
Kaore i roa, ka uru mai ona ariā ki roto i aku tuhinga ako me nga riipene ataata, tae atu ki etahi o aku wananga.
Ko nga korero e whai ake nei hei whakaatu i te arorau mo aku kitenga hou mo te aroha ki ahau ake:
- Kaore e taea te noho takitahi ma te Whaiaro-Aroha Nui (SLA).
- He nui nga ngoikoretanga o te hunga noho takitahi i te aroha ki a ia ano.
- Ko te raru o te taapiri o te tamarikitanga te putake o te Whaiaro i te Arohatanga (SLD).
- Ko nga Hara-Aroha Ko nga Hara i takea mai i te noho mokemoke, te whakama, me te whara o te tamarikitanga kaore ano kia ea.
- Ko te mataku kei pehia, kua pehi ranei i te whakama matua me te mokemoke o te pathological te tangata pono ki te noho i nga hononga kino.
- Ko te whakakorenga o te Whakahau Aroha-Whaiaro me te whanaketanga o te Arohatanga Whaiaro
- Ko te nui ko te whaainga tuatahi mo te rongoa codependency.
Kei te mau tonu ki taku whakaaro ki te mutu te "whakawhirinaki", I te tuatahi me whai whakaaro ahau hei whakakapi.
Ko te aroha ki a koe ano te rongoa mo te rangatiratanga
Kaore au e whakamutu i taku rapunga kia kitea ra ano e au he kupu e whakaatu ana i te ahuatanga / wheako pono, i te kore e whakaohooho i te tangata ki te whakaaro kino ki a ia ano.
I rereke taku waimarie i te waenganui o Akuhata 2015, i a au e tuhi ana i te tuhinga mo te noho takitahi. I roto i te reira, ua papa'i au i te pereota, «Te Aroharaa Ia'u iho te Pato'i no te Tuatapaparaa». Ma te mohio ki tona maamaa me tona mana, ka hangaia e au tetahi meme, ka tukuna e au ki etahi papanga papanga hapori.
Kare e taea e au te matapae i te ahua pai o taku meme me ona tikanga, na te mea i whakaohohia nga korerorero hohonu me te whakaaroaro mo te aha me te aha o te koretake o te aroha-ake i hono piri ai ki te pono.
Koinei te wa i mohio ahau kei runga au i tetahi mea nui!
Ka rite ki era atu kitenga-e whai kiko ana ki te codependency, ka maarama tonu ki taku whakaaro i mua i te whakaputa i ana akoranga tino nui — ko te epiphany whai muri.
Ko taku wa aroha-a-Eureka i tae mai ki ahau tata ki te rua marama i muri mai.
Ko te ngoikoretanga o te aroha-whaiaro ko te ti'aturitanga
I a au e whanake rauemi ana mo taku wananga Codependency Cure hou, i hangaia e au tetahi kiriata e pa ana ki te "Self-Love Deficit is Codependency!"
Ka oti ana te taarua, ka haria au e te waipuke o te harikoa me te tumanako. Koinei te wa i rongo ahau i a au e kii ana, Ko te Whakapau Kore o te Aroha Aroha Ko te Tino Tuturu! Kaore au e whakanui
I te mohio tonu ki te hiranga o tenei rerenga korero ngawari, i tiimata tonu ahau ki te whakauru atu ki roto i nga tuhinga, tuhinga, ataata YouTube, whakangungu, me aku kaihoko Hinengaro. I tino miharo ahau ki te maha o nga kaitautoko, kei te ora mai, kaore ranei, i pai taku mohio.
I korero au i nga wa katoa mo te aha i pai ai te maarama o te tangata ki o raatau raru, me te kore e mohio he ngoikore ratou, he "kino" ranei.
Mo taua wa, i whakatau marama ahau ki te whakakapi i te "codependency" me te Whawhai-aukati i te Whakararu Kore.
Ahakoa he maha atu o nga taarua me te here i te arero i nga wa maha, i hiahia ahau ki te whakatutuki i aku mahere reti "codependency". Tere tonu ki te kotahi tau i muri mai: tekau mano mano tangata, ki te kore e maha ake, kua awhi i te Raru Whakatau Aroha-Tiakitanga hei ingoa hou mo o raatau mate.
Ko te whakaaro nui ko te Whaiaro Arotake Whaiaro-Aroha ehara i te ingoa e tika ana mo tenei ahuatanga, engari na te iwi ano hoki i hiahia ki te whakatau.
SLDD te Raru / SLD te Tangata
I roto i nga wiki, ka whakatau ahau ki te anga whakamua ki te whakahau i te ao ki te whakamutu i te "codependency," i te wa ano e hanga ana i te mohiotanga whanui me te whakaae mo tona whakakapi. I whakahaerehia e au taku mahere ma roto i nga riipene ataata, tuhinga, blog, reo irirangi me te pouaka whakaata pouaka whakaata, whakangungu ngaio me nga wananga matauranga.
Mena he hononga kotahitanga mana, kua whakapaea ahau e au ki nga tono kia ahei ahau ki te whakakapi i te waa e tika ana, ko te Whaiaro Tuturu i te Aroha- (Self-Love Deficit Disorder (SLDD), me te tangata e Hara-Aroha Ana (SLD). Kei te tino koa ahau ki te kii SLDD me SLD te ahua nei kei te mau haere tonu.
Ko te rongoa codependency he arohanui-aroha nui
I te mea kaore au e whakaae ki te whakamahi i nga kupu kino e kitea ana i nga taatai hauora hinengaro, e tino whakapono ana ahau he mea nui te "Deficit" i roto i te Whawhai-a-Tango i te Whakanui-a-Kiwa, na te mea e whakaatu ana i te raru e hiahiatia ana te whakaora.
Kaore i rite ki etahi atu mate, ka pai te whakaora i te SLDD, ka ora — kaore e hiahiatia te maimoatanga i muri mai, te manukanuka ranei mo te hokinga mai, mo te hoki mai ranei.
Ma te whakatau i tetahi raru, e whakapono ana ahau ko te taatari kua tohua ki te tangata me whakakore, me whakakapi ranei i tetahi atu tohu e tohu ana he pai ake te hauora hinengaro ranei.
Ko tenei whakaaro i whakaaweawe mai i aku mahi me te tohu o te Ngaru Pouri, kaore he tohu, he tohu ranei kua rongoa tika. He rite ano te whakaaro ki te SLDD: he aha te pupuri i taua tohu? Na tenei rarangi o te whakaaro i whakaaweawe ahau ki te hanga i tetahi waa e tohu ana i te whakataunga tuturu o te SLDD —te Whakaoranga Takirua.
Ko te mahi i muri ko te hanga ingoa mo te maimoatanga SLDD.I te Hui-tanguru 2017, i tiimata ahau ki te titiro mo te rongoa penei i te Whakaora i te Aroha Aroha (SLR), na te mea he toronga maori o aku kupu hou aroha-ake.